🧵 Patchwork Personalities: Growing Through the People We Admire

“You’re not a copy. You’re a customized version of yourself—crafted with care, curiosity, and choice.”

The Search for a Role Model

“Role models”—it’s a term I heard a lot as a child. Like many kids, I was on a quiet quest to find mine, usually among the people I spent the most time with: my family. As a little girl, I naturally looked up to the women in my household.

I think most of us go through that phase—imitating the cousin we adore or the friend who seems effortlessly cool. At one point in my teenage years, I was even comparing myself to anime characters just to see who matched my personality best.

And yes, I’m talking about full-blown mimicry.Cue: my sixth-grade self striking a Sasuke Uchiha pose in the middle of class, thinking I looked intense and mysterious.(Embarrassing? Absolutely. But also... kind of iconic?)

Childhood is often about imagining yourself as the hero of a movie, a novel, or a manga.

From Imitation to Insight

Back then, I believed the way to become “perfect” like someone I admired was to copy them—mannerisms, voice, posture, the works.

But adulthood peeled back that shiny layer of idealism. I began seeing people more fully: not as flawless figures, but as humans tangled in a mesh of strengths and shortcomings. That’s when it hit me:

Perfection doesn’t exist.What does exist is a delicate balance—built through patience, awareness, and the will to grow.

So, I stopped trying to be someone else and started doing something smarter: picking and adapting traits I admired into my own evolving identity.

The Selective Adoption Method

Let’s face it—we’re all wired differently. Our temperaments, values, and life goals don’t align in neat little rows. That’s why complete imitation doesn’t work—and honestly, it shouldn't.

It’s not just impractical; it’s unsafe. Why? Because it would mean taking on someone’s flaws along with their strengths. (And let’s be honest, we’re already juggling enough of our own.)

So instead, I started doing this:

Take one helpful trait at a time. Test it. Tweak it. Make it your own.

For example, say you’re an introvert, and you admire how your extroverted friend can confidently bargain or argue their way through anything. You may not want to become just like them, and you don’t have to. But you can borrow a few phrases or techniques that help you stand your ground when needed.

It’s like collecting little survival skills from the people around you.

A Patchwork Becoming Whole

In the beginning, this approach can feel clumsy, like stitching together pieces of fabric that don’t match. You might feel inconsistent, unsure, or even “fake.”

But here’s the truth: over time, those borrowed bits begin to blend. The edges soften. The colors start to complement each other. Eventually, that patchwork becomes something cohesive—something that is fully and uniquely you.

And even if the seams still show?

They’re proof that you’re open to learning, unafraid to evolve, and willing to grow.

You’re not a copy. You’re a customized self—crafted with care, curiosity, and choice.

Note to readers: This post was edited and formatted using ChatGPT to improve clarity and flow. I wrote and shaped the core content myself. I wanted to test how well it can retain my original ideas while presenting them in a better way.