You don't know the value of someone when you have them. It dawns upon you when you lose them. Fortunately, I haven't lost any of my loved ones, it's just distance that lies between us. Staying far from my family has made me realize a lot of things and I will be discussing those here.
The idea that anything can happen to anyone at anytime has never fazed me before. I've always had the people I love close by and in my view. But now that they are not around and I can't see whats going on with them, worries over their well-being creeps into my mind. I read into the tones of their voices over calls to discern any discomfort or sadness that's not shared in words.
During childhood, the thought that our parents won't be around throughout our life must have been a nightmare to most of us. But when we wake up from it, they are around to embrace us in the warmth and security of their hugs. But now, it's not possible. You can't barge into your parents' room looking all teary-eyed. But still, a phone call helps. Listening to their voice is a relief. Yet, the hidden pangs of future loss remains within and the nightmare begins to have tinges of reality in it. This makes you treasure the time you have with them and hope for the best.
These days I'm able to see my own family members in strangers. I see my grandmother in the old lady who lives opposite to our place. How she wakes early in the morning and does Pooja before going about with the chores. It reminds me of my Ammamma. Last day, I saw the lady smile for the first time. She had a little girl with her, perhaps her granddaughter. Love emanated from her in waves as she let the girl pull her around by the hand and answered all her little queries. It took me back to my childhood, when I tailed my grandmother through the house as she went about with her work.
A similar incident occured while I was coming back from college one day. A lady cycled past me and she had her toddler son sitting behind her. The little hands gripping her kurta and the small legs dangling over the sides filled me with such longing for my baby cousin back home. He is growing up too fast for my liking. I missed his first words and I'm afraid to miss more of his firsts. My elder brother was lucky enough to spend more time with him on his long leave....bet he taught him to call him chetta. Next time we meet, he'll be gloating over his victory. This won't do...I'll have to video call him more. He won't win over my baby brother so easily!
Yea, so as I was saying, distance and mortality are two tough realities you deal with in love. But it also deepens relationships depending on the efforts you put in. The idea that one day it will all perish makes you appreciate the time you have at hand. Each moment is celebrated and each memory cherished.
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